Published on 2025-01-25 by Felicity Meowritz
This is CATNews Rebooted. We're back once again to bring you the latest "news", much like Renegade Masters.
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The great American patriot Donald Trump was recently sworn into office. He made a speech on how he is going to fix everything and Make America Great Again at his inaugurugramation.
His first act in office was to sign many great and patriotic executive orders to save America. These orders included demands to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America and to declare the fact that there are only two sexes, much to the anger of gender ideology extremists. This was very patriotic of him. He likes being a patriot. The new administration is also going to pull the US out of the Paris Climate Agreement and the WHO. These are really good things because climate change and diseases aren't real. I know this because Greg from X told me so.
President Trump also pardoned many peaceful protestors who were opposing the blatant 2020 election rigging. This is the first step to restoring a fair justice system in America.
Aside from the executive orders, one of the things Donald has been focusing on is the axis of evil, Denmark and Panama. He intends to liberate Greenland from the tyrannical rule of the Denmarkese, making Greenland Great Again. He cares a lot about the people and the nature and the oil. Unfortunately the Greenlandians, as of writing, have not yet experienced the freedom and liberty afforded to American citizens. The Americans must always be involved to help the stupid Europese do things the right way.
President Trump has also managed to secure justice in his multiple legal battles by being inaugurugramated and therefore not being able to go to prison. This ends the witch hunt perpretrated by Democrats and other anti-democracy campaigners. President Trump has saved democracy.
President Trump has also received support from other great American patriots like Elon Snusk, Mark Sockeriton and Tim Apple. Apple Man even donated to his inauguritation fund. Elon and Mark are liberating Facebook, Instagram and X from evil woke things like fact checking. Elon and Mark are stalwart defenders of free speech, a core American value.
On the topic of Elon, he made a heartfelt gesture at a rally to signify his appreciation for the support of the many Americans who care about restoring freedom to the country. However, the Democrats leapt on this opportunity to call Elon a fascist. This is yet another harassment campaign launched by the Democrats and the global liberal elite.
So far, President Trump has made a stunning first impression as President of the greatest nation on Earth. We look forward to seeing and experiencing further positive impacts on public life as a result of his presidency.
This concludes issue #1 of CATNews Rebooted. Thank you for reading our impartial and insightful news coverage.
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